Well, my first attempt at a blog. All the "how to's" say to blog about something that you know about, make it interesting, short or funny. Me, I just need to get something out of my head - and maybe getting it down on "paper" may be the way to do it!
This morning, whilst taking a break with a mug of tea, I decided to catch up with an episode of Neighbours. That's it, turned off half the readers now! It was the episode where there was a car accident with a car full of people where the car went off the road and turned over and landed on the roof. That happened to me - 4 years ago in August - and it's still affecting me now.
In a later episode one of the characters who was a passenger in the car was told they need to talk about it now otherwise it will just get worse. Yes, I think I can agree to that. It gets better, and it gets worse. I'm breaking out in a sweat now just thinking about it; I can feel my heart rate go up. Maybe after all of these years it is time to just talk about it, to put my emotions down, to analysis it. But that's just it, I don't really know what I feel. My head knows that it is over, it's done with, that everyone is fine, it was a fluke, it's never going to happen again.
How many times have I told myself that? I've lost count. I still break out in a sweat on busy roads, next to lorries, if I don't think any driver of any car is braking quick enough. Many different reactions and its getting worse by the week.
Perhaps I need to put it all down here, for all to see, to try and shut it away. Or maybe I need professional help, or maybe I just have to accept that that is it for me, things will never be the same again. Whatever, I'm afraid that this blog is just for me, for my therapy and to help me on my journey. If others want to join me on my journey; that is great, if it helps anyone else then that's a bonus.
Well, what a depressing blog that's going to be!!!! will carry on blogging another time. :-) ttfn.
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